juicyybarbie:

got kicked out of Kmart for moving the ‘caution wet’ sign to the 50 shades of grey shelf

nicolette-the-nocturnal:

I don’t want to be alone but at the same time ew people

welcometothe-tardis:

I THOUGHT HIS NAME WAS PLEASE FOR A SECOND

epic-humor:

riders-of-brohan:“I’ve lost weight” I announced.

Everyone congratulated me.

But Weight was the name of my son.

whorville:

I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life

Straight and fast lol more like gay and slow

jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home

gofwd:

Tumblr consistently asks the hard hitting questions. 

epic-humor:

see more

Headcanon accepted

shslmanlyface: